Shriner's Park
by Aldrean Treu Peri
Summary: This is a Haruka/Michiru fic, which means it's a yuri, so you've been warned if you are offended by this sort of relationship. The song, 'Shriner's Park' belongs to Melissa Etheridge.


Disclaimer: I know that pretty much none of my stories have this, so I'm going to say it for them all here, or rather, the ones it applies to.  Cowboy Bebop and Sailor Moon are not mine.  This story, featuring Haruka and Michiru from Sailor Moon do not belong to me in any shape or form and the song, 'Shriner's Park' by Melissa Etheridge is only mine insofar as I own her CD 'Your Little Secret' with the song on there.  *giggles* Now that that has been said, read on!

**shriner's park**  
  
I wonder what you're doing  
in the night out there  
is a sad summer breath tangled in your hair  
can you hear the lonely engines  
screaming through the town  
there's no where to run  
when the darkness comes down

Ten'ou Haruka revved up her engines and closed her eyes, letting the chaos of her thoughts fade out as she calmed visibly by the steady roar of the motorcycle's engines and the reassuring vibration that shivered through the whole bike.  She was seething inside, furious, her turbulent emotions struggling to find an outlet, searching to break past her resolute barriers.  The helmet slipped easily into place over her mop of sandy-blond hair and she let everything slip away until all that was left was the motorcycle, herself, and the challenge issued by the wind.  _Ride_.  _Ride, little girl, ride and see if you can conquer me_.  _Your destiny is great, your passion fierce …ride, little girl, we shall see if you are strong enough_.  Her smile was sure and grim as her eyes opened again and she settled her weight on the thrumming motorcycle, every nerve humming, her senses keen and her heart beating wildly in anticipation.  There was only the wind, whipping so fast, there was only her, alone on the road, alone save for the laughing wind.  With a delighted whoop, she shot forward, bent easily over her bike, every movement familiar and warm as she raced to escape her confused heart, raced to get beyond her failure, raced to beat the wind.

            It was racing like this, letting herself go carelessly free on any abandoned or seldom used stretch of road that let her get away from her problems for a little while.  She was driving dangerously, recklessly, every fiber of her being keyed to extreme heights, she was one with the motorcycle, responding through instinct to the feel of the pavement eaten up beneath her, the wind rushing at her from everywhere all at once.  It lasted forever, a thousand eternities that ended too soon, for in another moment, she had reached the end, and she was done, the chains binding her once more, her boundaries reinstated.  With a howl of outrage she reached up and tore off her helmet, hurling it to the ground with gentle force giving her sudden, insatiable fury.  It wasn't enough, racing like this wasn't enough to make the fire die inside her heart and without conscious thought, she reached up to trace over her lips tenderly, a hard little sigh escaping as she found herself lost in the memories of her time spent with Kaiou Michiru the previous weekend.  And the smoldering embers flared to life, flames licking at her reserves of strength as she crumpled to the unyielding pavement, dropping almost weightlessly to her hands and knees.  The fire filled her and emptied her at the same time, consumed her very being while burning up her thoughts, it was everything and nothing, she hated it and loved it and knew she was nothing without it.  Her breath came in choking gasps as she fought back the sobs that threatened to overcome her, the memories drowning her in their brilliance as the fire took her away …

            Kaiou Michiru, the heart of the fire searing her through and through.  Her little sea nymph, the elegant young woman so much stronger and greater than she.  Michiru was not one to back down once forming an opinion of someone or something, she was determined once setting herself to reach a goal, she was stubborn and wild, a child of the water …so it was ironic that what should be so much a part of Haruka was the fire in the other woman.  And she was fiery, soft-spoken for the most part, drawn to the arts like painting and pottery, able to find her release in swimming and other aspects of the sea while Haruka could only reach her short freedom in chasing the wind.  Michiru, so lovely, so sweet, a wonderful mother she would make, someday, after maturing a bit more.  There were so many lessons yet for them to learn, so many trials to face together, but they were facing the most difficult now, struggling to unravel their own emotions and feelings for each other.  It was wrong for a woman to love another woman in the way that Haruka loved Michiru, and the way that she desired for Michiru to love her in return …but …how could something so wrong seem so right?  She knew that people would disprove, she knew that people would talk, but she had never been one to really be hurt by rumors and the harsh whispers of her peers.  No, she was strong too, like Michiru, she could stand that.  But it was so difficult to understand!  She was only seventeen …she was too young to worry about all that …her life was only beginning …

is there a song inside of you  
that you tried to forget  
like your fake id and your mom's cigarettes  
does it take you back  
is the vision intense  
you and me in shriner's park  
trying to make some sense

            But the fire raged within …oh, Michiru, she thought helplessly, what are you doing now?  Are you thinking of me?  Do you loathe me now?  Now that we both know …now that I took that last desperate step and kissed you after the recital …can you even stand to whisper my name as I am weeping yours?  She found herself resurrecting Michiru's lithe body in her mind, piecing together her graceful form and beautiful face, the rivers of aquamarine cascading down to her shoulders and framing her pale face perfectly, her depthless azure eyes holding so much knowledge and confusion at the same time.  Her eyes had always been so old, ever since …ever since her childhood had ended so abruptly.  Haruka moaned in sympathy as she heard Michiru's voice in her mind once more, retelling with some difficulty the hardest, most meaningful bits and parts of her jaded past.  She remembered the tears in Michiru's voice as she described her own faded memories of the mahogany coffin being lowered into the earth as the heavens wept with her as a child, poor young Michiru, forced to stand at the side of her weeping mother as her father was buried by people she did not even know.  Michiru, struggling to master the violin to make her mother proud, still trying to learn what her mother had been trying to teach her long ago and beginning to truly love music.  Michiru's own feelings on meeting Haruka that first day years and years back, when they had begun going to the same school together and when they had become steadfast friends.

            Where did their friendship go from here?  How were they supposed to salvage the remains of what they once had in order to continue?  Haruka's heart shied at the thought of Michiru ending their friendship, unable to look her in the eye anymore, not understanding why she sought to go in the face of their elders and all that they had ever learned about what was right and what wasn't.  How was she supposed to live with herself though if she denied what resided in her heart?  How was she supposed to keep it a secret, a dark and dirty thing locked away from eyes that refused to recognize the evidence?  It was too late to change the past, and it was all in Michiru's hands now to shape the future, like she shaped her clay.  The kiln had fired the fragile art that was the special love between them before it was ready, and now it could all shatter …they had been so close, each other's confident and solemn supporter through thick and thin, yet now, now Haruka may have destroyed all of that.

            Her head bowed to her chest, Haruka gave up on containing her fear and grief and guilt and sobbed bitterly, barely acknowledging when the sky burst open above her and the rain fell hard and cold, soaking through her clothes and freezing her skin as she continued to cry painfully, alone and afraid on the ground beside the ticket to her freedom, her ride upon the wind.  

you were just seventeen  
but your laughter was mild  
you liked my dream you thought i was wild  
is there a rhythm in your step now  
that reminds you of a dance  
do you push it all away  
cause you never took the chance

  
Michiru inhaled deeply before plunging back beneath the churning surface of the sea, taking expert strokes to glide through the water, allowing the calming influence of the water to bear away her troubling thoughts and to ease the vise of worry clamped about her heart.  She kept her eyes shut as she swam slowly back towards the long stretch of shoreline and she twisted around before swimming too close to the empty beach.  It was so relaxing in the water, so easy to abandon the cares in the world to the lull of the sea.  The comforting effect the waters had on her was remarkable, and sometimes she was scared at how close she felt to the waves breaking on the rocks by the lighthouse near her beach house.  It was wonderful, to simply lie still, cradled to the bosom of the sea and watched protectively by the creatures living deep down beneath the surface.  She had never felt this peaceful on land, for though tranquility existed there, it wasn't the same as being wholly submerged in the serenity that existed in the shadowy recesses of the water.  She sighed inwardly as her lungs began to demand a fresh breath of air, eager to release the stale substance they were forced to make use of, and she executed a quick underwater flip before rising to the surface to breathe freely once more.

            The air was cool, cooler than the water, and her breath froze in her throat briefly as she opened her eyes carefully, still unable to avoid the sharp stinging of the salt water in her eyes.  Her gaze clouded briefly, but she did not panic for it was as normal and familiar an occurrence as taking life-sustaining air into herself.  The wind was making the air chillier than usual for late summer, early autumn, and she felt a sudden tug on her heartstrings as her thoughts resurfaced with a fury, a headache bound to arrive before long.  Rolling her eyes in irritation, she swam lazily to shore and toweled off for a time, relishing the time she could spend just standing on the beach and watching the waves roll onto the beach, foam flecking the sand in rockier areas where the water impacted with more force and a shiver ran down her spine as the wind kicked up once more.  Her eyes watered with something more than just salt burning from the water dripping from her damp bangs.  

            She hadn't seen Haruka since the night after her recital, the night after everything had slowly fallen apart.  It had been going so great, everything couldn't have possibly been better for her …well, of course it could have, but she had tried to ignore what her heart was telling her, stubborn as always.  Haruka had tossed her the spare helmet and they had rode over to the park where they had shared so many meaningful conversations in the past, where Haruka had voiced her fears about her parent's continually fighting, where Haruka had taught her how to dance beneath the moonlight when she had been in tears because she had been asked to a dance by a boy she had a crush on, but she hadn't wanted to embarrass him or herself.  It was where everything had begun …where they had run into each other before school the first morning and gotten to know each other.  Haruka had always been such an interesting puzzle to muddle over, the girl who seemed to hate being a girl, the child born of the wind and unable to escape her past, a past where her father hardly figured as more than a drunken blotch and where her parents had screamed and fought over all sorts of small things, where her mother had committed suicide before Haruka's first major race.  Michiru's eyes narrowed dangerously as her thoughts flittered to Haruka's father and she growled viciously at the memories his face recalled.  

   
you'd sneak out your window  
when i'd come for you  
i'd be waiting in the street light on 8th avenue  
you'd slip into my car  
we'd drive down past the fence  
you and me in shriner's park  
trying to make some sense  
  


            There had been one night in particular, after her mother's death, when Haruka had needed Michiru most desperately.  Her father had been in one of his drunken rages, and so the tom boyish girl had fled her house in the car that her mother used to drive to work everyday, and Michiru had snuck out of her house and they had gone to the park and tried to understand why everything seemed so horrible and wrong.  Michiru's throat tightened up as she remembered countless other times they had met at the park, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes they had stolen away together to try and take apart the world piece by piece in better hopes of understanding.  The park, home of so many dark memories, home of so many rays of light they had managed to shed together, home of their continuing and ever deepening friendship and possibly also the home of the ending of that friendship.  Oh, how utterly confusing it all was!

            They had swung slowly back and forth on the swings like children, drudging up the past and speculating on the future, when Haruka had brought up the issues and thoughts that had been pestering Michiru for so long.  It took a weight from her heart and mind to be able to openly discuss such matters with Haruka, because she had been afraid of what her friend might have done if she had breached the topic herself.  They were just so young, still trying to finish school and to keep up with all their extracurricular activities, and it had somehow gone from them talking about their feelings towards each other to Haruka spilling something so deep and meaningful to her that Michiru had been stunned speechless for a moment, trying to find faith in that her most secret hope had just been echoed by the young woman she had admired and lusted after in the same way.  And then, they had kissed, softly and gently, almost uncertainly …this was what they had been told was wrong, this was something that should not exist and here they were trying to make things work for themselves in defiance of what others preached and prattled about.  And then …then, Haruka had pulled away and they had just stared at each other before she, Michiru, the stronger one, had turned tail and ran like the coward she really was.

            She wasn't sure why she had run …that had been what she wanted, what she had never dared to breath aloud for fear of being outcaste and hated by the one she really loved, and when Haruka had told her, had showed her …she had been so overcome by emotions, emotions that she hadn't known existed …everything had overpowered her, broken her normally cool and placid exterior and sent her heart reeling.  How could she possibly fix this?  She had probably wounded Haruka too deeply for her to ever heal the mark she inflicted, after all, what person wanted that sort of reaction from the one they had just poured their heart out to and expressed their love for?  It had felt so right too, so perfect, being there with Haruka and kissing her …the hollow pit within her chest had filled and overflowed, she had finally been complete for a moment.  For that precious, priceless eternity, she had been whole and more than that, she had been burning inside, the dream complete and still pushing for more.  And it had been _so_ right …_so_ exquisitely heavenly, like all of Haruka.  She closed her eyes as rain began to fall, first in a light and steady drizzle, and then harder, and she suddenly realized that she was crying as well …and something deep inside her screamed out to go to Haruka and to repair the damage wrought before it was too late …she ran again, but this time, in the right direction …this time, she was running to love.

  
did you feel like you were crazy  
when they sent you far away  
did no one have the answers  
when you hung your head to pray  
you could not let yourself dream  
never dare believe  
you could ever be more  
than you were born to be

Haruka was still kneeling on the ground when Michiru's towel was draped about her shoulders and she looked up to see the other young woman smiling down on her with concern and love shining brightly in her eyes.  Haruka's heart skipped a beat and she rose on shaky legs before regaining her strength in the presence of the one who was her strength.  Michiru's smile broadened as she enfolded Haruka in a tight embrace and she cried out in happiness when Haruka's arms went about her as well.  Together, they stood there in the rain for a thousand eternities, sheltered from the rain leaking through to their hearts by the soul-searing bond between them, by their undying love and affection that dried the tears on their faces even as the rain continued to pour.  And Haruka exclaimed in worry when she noticed that her love was wearing only a bathing suit, and Michiru kissed her once, twice, before picking up the helmet and handing it to her love and took her hands to lead her to the motorcycle.

            "Come, Haruka-chan …koishii, we can warm each other, heal the wounds, together,"

            Haruka kissed her as she handed over the spare helmet and smiled strongly.  "To the park, Michiru-chan …ai shiteru, itsumademo."

            "Ai shiteru," Michiru echoed sincerely as they climbed upon the motorcycle and drove with a roar towards the future.

  
do you lock up you house  
like you locked up your past  
if i were to call  
could you free me at last  
could you slip into my car  
could we drive down past the fence  
you and me in shriner's park  
trying to make some sense


End file.
